Community Garden Announced

Sherwood "the pork" Pinpricker announces he is tearing down his backyard deck and pool at 35* Dyckman street, Peekskill, and opening the area to the public as a community garden. He invites all his neighbors to drop in any time, day or night, and remove a few boards from the deck, and plant vegetables, as they see fit. He is also turning in his "Yard Fart" license plates to DMV, and filling up his little white car with topsoil, to grow garbanzo beans for his lucky neighbors.(His wife needs her car, to drive to work)That leaves exactly one(1) per household. Since his large victorian house is much too underutilized, he is requesting any Guatemalans newly arrived in Peekskill, to consider dropping in, and taking over one or more of his bedrooms, gratis, forever. Next month he will begin planting grass on his roof, to offset his concrete driveway and steps. Of course, this will require at least a foot of topsoil on the roof first, so he is looking for volunteers, mainly from the out-of-work illegal alien crew that plays soccer all day in the basketball court up the street. He might not have to actually DO any of this, simply because a certain local power plant which we will not name, with a carbon footprint of zero or less, is powering his area with no carbon emissions at all, allowing Sher & Pina to be a little extravagant. Of course, he can't reply right now, because his arm's in a cast. But just like the overfull port-o-san, when you're full of doo-doo, it's best to keep the lid shut anyway, right? Look on the bright side, though. There's a growing list of people who think his HEAD should be in a cast! Actually, his best global-warming avoidance contribution would probably be to rent out the house, and get an apartment down on Fordham road, where wifey works, thus saving mucho carbon footprint. Make Sense?

CANNIBAL HOLOCAUST on the HUDSON ???

CANNIBAL DEATH-FEAST on the HUDSON !

How long will the truth be witheld, by crass media conspirators? Everyone in Westchester, Putnam, Rockland and Orange counties IS GOING TO DIE! The sooner we all face facts, and own up to our doom, the sooner we can begin to understand things. By the year 2087, 95% of those alive today WILL HAVE DIED! In 2090, only those above the age of 83 will be left OF ALL THE BILLIONS OF THOSE LIVING TODAY! And.... if we gather our courage, looking beyond the turn of the 22nd century, there will soon come a point where NOT A SINGLE PERSON NOW LIVING WILL SURVIVE!

True, there will be an estimated 9.2 billion humans by the year 2050, 15 billion by 2100, but very very few of that crowd will be us! So...... since these horrible deaths, from a million different causes (mostly old age) are even now hurtling in on us, like the headsman's fatal swing, how can anybody expect us to be hopeful, or to plan for a better world--WHEN FOR US, ITS GONNA BE NO FRIGGIN WORLD AT ALL?

That's why I choose to call this planet earth THE BIG MAUSOLEUM IN SPACE, circling the Sun holding all our dead bodies, a veritable charnel house of the solar system, spinning endlessly mocking all our failed lives, broken dreams, broken arms, environmental injustices, erectile dysfunction, and failures to start a new anti-nuclear tantric anarchist movement!

In fact, the surface of this DEATH-PLANET will be forever strewn with the garbage, the offal, and the stench of our having lived here, crapped the place up, thrown our wine bottles around, cut down a billion trees, AND THEN FRIGGIN DIED, before finishing the job. I guess the cockroaches will get to do that.

That's why I'm changing my name to to PORKIE DEATHSUCKER, because I live in PIGSKILL New York, THE DEAD BODIES CAPITAL OF THE HUDSON RIVER! And that's why I blog so often, to bring to the public, my view of life as a death-pit, my view of the planet as a graveyard, and my view of Pigskill, as the condemned ward of the deathrow prison known as modern day existence.

To show how doomish life really is I HAVE BROKEN MY OWN ARM! Next month I am going to cut off my own foot, and sautee it with a bit of sage and garlic, and EAT MY OWN FOOT IN FRONT OF THE CAPITOL THEATER, in protest against the fact that my foot is gonna die, even if I don't eat it.

And that's why I choose to call Indian Point the Cannibal village on the Hudson, because I'm psychotic, and a cannibal, and eat my own foot in Pigskill, which is near Indian Point, which is the icon I'm pretending to be obsessed with trying to become as famous as my wife is , because she gets to talk to celebrities AND I DON'T.

All I get to do is dig garden dirt, like some Mexican.
--AND EAT MY FOOT !!

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